this is the nine-part death meditation that Thea Buddhist monks in Sri Lanka and Thailand and Vietnam um what they will they will undertake in which often they'll contemplate corpses photos of corpses in various states of Decay and and they'll say I that is me and that is me and they have a nine this maradi is a meditation in which they they they imagine themselves decaying dying and then you know a rotting bloated corpse and then it's so is super graphic it's and that's the point right and super accurate like it really is how a human corpse decays it's just unbelievable and so and and what you're trying to do is what what psychologists would call exposure therapy you're exposing yourself to the inevitable truth like I heard you say Peter I'm gonna die okay fine fine fine I'm not gonna no think about it think about it why because that it it loses its Terror when it becomes familiar