Regrets expressed by individuals at the end of life, particularly those dying from chronic illnesses, often involve a lack of love, fear, not being oneself, and self-criticism, rather than conventional regrets like working too much.

“the regrets that pop in that i see at the end of life the conventional ones are sure you hear people say things like i wish i had spent more time with my family than at the office yeah things like that you know sure that comes up but in a way by time someone's actually in their death bed and again these days most of us dying from chronic illnesses that means we have some protracted period of time to think about our death specifically we will be introduced to the thing that will end our life months or years in advance so by the time those folks get around to their end of their life they're beyond the sort of pat regrets they shouldn't work so much for example oftentimes if they're regretting anything they're hanging on to anything including regrets it's more likely i wish i had loved dared to love more i wish i hadn't been so afraid i wish i had just let myself be myself i wish i hadn't been so hard on myself or criticized myself”