When assessing a woman's sexual response, it is important to ask specific questions about physical arousal, genital engorgement, lubrication, and orgasm.

“so if she says to me everything works fine but I still even though I have a good experience I still come back to this and I don't want to have sex right then that model doesn't apply to her her and she's not normal and where that model misses is they forget that we have to make sure that people who don't feel reinforcement don't feel motivated to re-engage don't have the the desire the willingness or the interest — don't it isn't normal right — um where I do find this idea works the most where people are kind of neutral but they engage to be closest in long-term relationships because they know what what makes the relationship work so this P this person comes to you and I what I'll do is I'll walk her through I'll say you know do you feel sex hunger do you initiate are you receptive no no I avoid it I finally give in because I know he's grouchy or or she or whatever and — but how does everything work does your brain turn on do you get breast Sensations do you get General arousal do you get genital Sensations do you feel engorged do you get lubricated you know I the degree to which I ask specific questions is variable sometimes I ask more general questions like do your genitals get turned on um and do you Peak do you climb Ed I try to find the language usually I just say do you have an orgasm”