Andrew Huberman· PhD
but the other thing is I say do it in steps so the person can adjust uh you might say you know I'm I'm thinking about making a career change or I'm thinking that maybe this relationship isn't the right one for me anymore um so the person gets used to the idea this may be coming to an end and then um I'd like to move out and um have more time alone to think and then you're at a safe distance and you say I've thought about it and and we really need to get divorced and let's go to a divorce mediator I want to be amicable you know I don't hate you in many ways I still love you but we're just not meant to be a couple anymore um if there's kids involved then you know I really want us to have a supportive relationship for them if there aren't then maybe this really is the end but it's it's step by step so this person can adjust to the fact that you really are leaving but not too long and not too many steps because then their expectations are raised oh maybe you're not really leaving