Parents should focus on building a child's resilience and coping skills when they experience social exclusion or are deemed unskilled.

“right like I don't think a kid's going to be called the water basball player you know over and over in the course of the next couple decades but they will be called some something they'll be left out or even if nothing happens you know what's going to happen they're going to feel less then in a group like probably a million times I do right still so we have this almost opportunity of like okay well what skills would be useful when my kid is 18 and 30 and actually the struggle again is my opportunity”